The Busy Mom’s and Dad’s Guide to Overcoming Guilt and Having Enough Quality Time With Loved Ones

By Allie Mendoza

As a super-busy mom or dad, it’s tough to have enough time for your career and your family. It’s hard to avoid feeling guilty for not having “enough quality time.” But, if you really think about it: What is considered “enough quality time”… and who really decides what this is?

by monoglot

What ever you do is never going to be “enough” for most people you ask. And if you keep asking people, you’re just going to keep torturing yourself with guilt that you’re not doing enough.

How do you spend enough quality time with your family if you’re often busy with your career — and how do you overcome feelings of guilt?

The only people whose opinion really matters when it comes to having enough time with you are your loved ones. Yes, your loved ones are the best people to ask about this. Stay away from those judgmental people who always offer their unsolicited harsh opinions — their ideas are often wrong!

Many years ago, when I was going to graduate school and working, I was dealing with so much guilt for not spending “enough” quality time with my young son. I’ve been divorced for a couple of years at that time and my ex-husband was also very busy just starting out with his legal practice.

I was so stressed out from the time pressure from grad school and work… and I really wanted to spend more quality time with my son. So, I was dealing with so much guilt on top of everything else.

What saved me was talking to my son about how I was feeling. It was such a bonding experience for both of us. He was touched that I wanted to spend more time with him… and he would not have known anything about it if I hadn’t discussed things with him.

According to my son – the one whose opinion mattered the most to me – the time we were spending together was enough… it was good enough! The only thing that mattered to him was that I was thinking of him no matter how busy I was. And I was always… always thinking of him… no matter where I was… no matter what I was doing. At that moment, my own son released me from all the guilt I was carrying! I remember feeling so overwhelmed with emotion and crying.

So, if you’re a mom or dad dealing with guilt about not having enough quality time with your family, just talk to them about how you’re feeling. Ask them what they would like to do in order to have enough quality time together. No matter how hard it is to talk about it, having the discussion can communicate to them how much you care about them — that regardless of your current situation, you do want to spend more time with them.

Maybe the discussion with your family will release you from your guilt. Maybe you’ll feel closer to each other afterward — even if there’s nothing much that you can do about career-related time pressure.

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Categories: Family and Issues  |  Tags: busy moms, dealing with guilt, overcoming guilt, quality time  |  No Comments »